Every refinery, pipeline, chemical plant, and power plant has one thing in common—journeymen.
They’re the first to complain, the first to volunteer for overtime (if the money is right), and somehow know every shortcut through a refinery they’ve never even worked in before.
If you’ve spent any time in the oil and gas industry, you’ve probably lived every one of these.
The Job Hunt
1. A journeyman can smell overtime from three states away.
2. “How much is per diem?” is usually the first question.
3. The second question is, “How many hours?”
4. The third question is, “Who’s the contractor?”
5. Nobody says they’re dragging up—they say they’re “exploring better opportunities.”
6. Every shutdown has at least one guy who quit another shutdown to come there.
7. Someone is always leaving tomorrow…
…for the last three weeks.
8. A journeyman somehow knows about a job before the company posts it.
9. The phone contacts list is worth more than the toolbox.
10. Every road eventually leads back to another refinery.
The Morning Routine
11. Coffee is considered mandatory PPE.
12. Nobody talks much before the first cup.
13. Everyone says they hate mornings…
…yet they willingly work 5:00 a.m. starts.
14. The parking lot is full of trucks worth more than some houses.
15. Somebody is always running because they overslept.
16. The apprentice always arrives first.
17. The foreman somehow knows exactly who arrived one minute late.
18. Everyone checks the weather before checking the drawings.
19. Someone forgot their badge.
20. Someone forgot their hard hat.
Tool Room Culture
21. Everyone owns three tape measures.
22. Nobody can find one.
23. The tool room guy remembers who borrowed everything.
24. Returning tools actually improves your reputation.
25. Every pipefitter claims their level is the best.
26. Someone always “borrows” a crescent wrench.
27. Nobody admits who lost the company hammer.
28. The apprentice carries more tools than the journeyman.
29. The experienced journeyman carries half as many tools…
…and somehow finishes first.
30. Someone always says,
“I’ve got one in my truck.”
Jobsite Humor
31. The words “five-minute job” are dangerous.
32. Nothing ever takes just five minutes.
33. The easiest spool is somehow always the last one.
34. Everyone blames engineering.
35. Engineering blames the drawings.
36. The drawings blame reality.
37. Reality wins every time.
38. Every job is “almost finished.”
39. Every shutdown somehow gets extended.
40. Nobody is surprised anymore.
Overtime
41. People complain about overtime…
42. …while signing up for more.
43. Everyone says,
“I’m tired.”
44. Nobody turns down Sunday double time.
45. The paycheck heals many sore muscles.
46. The alarm clock becomes your biggest enemy.
47. Friday doesn’t mean much during a turnaround.
48. Monday doesn’t either.
49. Every day becomes “Day 19.”
50. The calendar loses all meaning.
Lunch Break
51. The microwave always has a line.
52. Someone always burns popcorn.
53. Everybody complains about lunch prices.
54. Everybody buys lunch anyway.
55. One guy always brings steak.
56. One guy survives entirely on energy drinks.
57. Someone’s wife packed homemade food…
58. …and everyone gets jealous.
59. Somebody forgot lunch.
60. Somebody else suddenly has a new best friend.
Shutdown Life
61. Every hotel parking lot looks like a truck dealership.
62. Someone drove 1,200 miles for the outage.
63.Half the crew has worked together before.
64. Nobody remembers where.
65. The new apprentice thinks everyone is serious.
66. The journeymen keep the joke going.
67. Someone always says,
“I’ve seen worse.”
68. They’re usually right.
69. The weather always changes on hydro day.
70. Everyone blames the rain.
Drag-Up Culture
71. Someone drags up every week.
72. Someone threatens to drag up every day.
73. Someone actually follows through.
74. Somebody always leaves for “better money.”
75. Six months later… They’re working beside you again.
76. Nobody is surprised.
77. Everybody laughs.
78. Someone says,
“I told you he’d be back.”
79. The rumor spreads faster than company emails.
80. By break time, everyone knows.
Only Journeymen Understand
81. You recognize coworkers before remembering their names.
82. You know people by the contractor they worked for.
83. You remember welders by their beads.
84. You remember pipefitters by their fit-up.
85. You remember foremen by how many Saturdays they scheduled.
86. You can identify a refinery just by its smell.
87. You know exactly which gate has the shortest line.
88. You know which gas station has the cheapest breakfast burritos.
89. You’ve worked with the same guy in three different states.
90. You still don’t know his last name.
The Final 10
91. Every journeyman has a favorite contractor…
until payday.
92. Every apprentice eventually becomes the one telling stories.
93. Every shutdown creates legends.
94. Every refinery has “that one job.”
95. The best stories always start with,
“You ain’t gonna believe this…”
96. Everyone says they’re retiring soon.
97. Nobody actually retires “next year.”
98. The industry is much smaller than people think.
99. No matter where you travel, you’ll eventually hear,
“Hey… didn’t we work together in Texas?”
100. No matter how many jobs you’ve worked, one thing never changes…
The paycheck is nice—but the stories you’ll tell for the rest of your life are worth even more.
