Næxon

There are two kinds of people on an industrial jobsite: people who are busy, and people who have developed such an advanced appearance of being busy that nobody is willing to interrupt them.

This article is about the second group.

Every refinery turnaround, power plant outage, pipeline project, fab shop, and large construction site seems to have at least one person who can walk around for twelve hours without producing anything measurable—yet somehow appears to be involved in every critical operation on the project.

This is satire, obviously. But if you’ve spent enough time in the trades, some of these techniques may look suspiciously familiar.

1. Always Carry Something

This is the foundation of looking busy.

Never walk empty-handed.

A clipboard suggests responsibility. A tape measure suggests you’re checking something. A radio suggests somebody important might need you. A rolled-up isometric suggests you’re heading somewhere technical.

But perhaps the most powerful combination is an isometric, tape measure, and slightly concerned facial expression.

Nobody stops that person.

They assume something serious is happening.

2. Walk Fast

Your actual destination is irrelevant.

The important thing is velocity.

A person slowly walking across the unit looks like they’re wandering. A person walking quickly across the unit looks like they’re responding to a problem.

Add occasional glances toward the pipe rack and you’ve upgraded yourself from “walking around” to “investigating an issue.”

If somebody asks where you’re going, say:

“Checking something real quick.”

Do not elaborate.

Mystery creates authority.

3. Stare at an Isometric for an Uncomfortable Amount of Time

Hold the drawing approximately twelve inches from your face.

Look at the drawing.

Look at the pipe.

Look back at the drawing.

Squint.

Measure something.

Look back at the drawing.

Shake your head slightly.

At this point, anyone watching will assume engineering has made a catastrophic mistake.

You don’t even need to know what you’re looking at.

4. The Tape Measure Walk

Extend your tape measure approximately three feet while walking around the work area.

Occasionally measure something completely reasonable but unnecessary.

Pipe to column.

Column to steel.

Steel to floor.

Pipe to another pipe.

Write one number on a piece of cardboard.

Congratulations.

You are now performing “layout.”

5. Ask a Question Nobody Can Immediately Answer

This technique is extremely powerful.

Walk up to the crew and ask something like:

“Did anybody verify the centerline elevation against the latest revision?”

Suddenly everyone becomes concerned.

Somebody starts looking for drawings.

Somebody calls the foreman.

Someone else starts measuring.

You can now quietly disappear.

6. Carry a Radio and Occasionally Say “Copy”

You don’t necessarily need to participate in the conversation.

Just listen carefully.

Every once in a while:

“Copy.”

Then walk faster.

For advanced users, combine this with:

“Yeah, I’m heading that way.”

Where?

Nobody knows.

But apparently you’re needed there.

7. Become Extremely Interested in One Flange

Every jobsite has thousands of components.

Pick one flange.

Study it intensely.

Check the bolt holes.

Look behind it.

Touch the gasket.

Measure something.

Walk around to the opposite side.

If someone approaches, point at it and say:

“Something doesn’t look right here.”

You have now purchased approximately twenty minutes.

8. The Strategic Ladder

Carry a ladder.

People rarely question someone carrying a ladder because clearly that person intends to perform work somewhere.

The destination doesn’t matter.

Walk fifty feet.

Put the ladder down.

Look upward.

Move the ladder another twenty feet.

Repeat.

You are no longer an employee.

You are a mobile operation.

9. Say “I’m Waiting on Them”

“Them” is one of the most useful organizations in industrial construction.

Nobody knows exactly who “them” is.

Engineering.

Operations.

Scaffold.

QC.

Safety.

The crane crew.

The other contractor.

The night shift.

If your work isn’t progressing, there is approximately a 94% chance that someone somewhere is legitimately waiting on someone else anyway.

Choose carefully.

10. Stand Near People Who Are Actually Working

This technique requires almost no equipment.

Simply position yourself near an active operation.

Preferably welding, rigging, equipment setting, or anything involving a crane.

Cross your arms.

Occasionally nod.

If management walks past, point at something.

You are no longer watching.

You are “coordinating.”

11. The Extremely Important Phone Call

Never look relaxed while using your phone.

That looks suspicious.

Instead, stare intensely at the screen, scroll rapidly, then look toward the work area.

Bonus points for saying:

“Send me that drawing.”

Now everyone assumes your phone contains technical information instead of Facebook Marketplace listings for a 2004 Silverado.

12. Carry the Same Piece of Material Around All Day

This is an old-school technique.

Find something light enough to carry but important-looking enough that nobody questions it.

A small valve.

A gasket.

A short piece of tubing.

A handful of bolts.

Carry it somewhere.

Talk to somebody.

Carry it somewhere else.

Eventually return it approximately six feet from where you originally found it.

Technically, material movement occurred.

13. Say “We’re Waiting on the Crane”

This is one of the most powerful sentences ever spoken on an industrial project.

Nobody questions crane delays.

The crane might actually be sitting 400 feet away working for another crew.

Perfect.

Your hands are tied.

There is simply nothing mankind can do.

14. Occasionally Become Very Concerned About a Dimension

Measurements make everything look legitimate.

Walk over to another journeyman and say:

“What’d you get?”

They’ll tell you.

Pause.

Measure it yourself.

Then say:

“That’s what I got too.”

Excellent.

Two professionals have now independently confirmed a measurement that may or may not have mattered.

15. Walk Toward the Tool Room Looking Irritated

Never happily walk toward the tool room.

You need to look like the project itself has personally inconvenienced you.

When somebody asks what happened, use one of the classics:

“Need another grinder.”

“Battery’s dead.”

“Can’t find the damn socket.”

“They gave us the wrong one.”

Nobody will investigate further because all four scenarios are completely believable.

16. Master the Foreman Point

This technique requires no words.

Stand approximately twenty feet from the work.

Place one hand on your hip.

Use the other hand to point toward something in the distance.

Another worker should ideally look in the direction you’re pointing.

That’s it.

From 100 feet away, this looks exactly like planning.

Nobody knows what you’re discussing.

You could be explaining where you parked.

Management sees coordination.

17. The Ultimate Technique: Carry an Isometric While Walking Fast and Talking on the Radio

This is the final form.

You have combined every major technique.

Drawing in one hand.

Radio in the other.

Tape measure clipped to your belt.

Fast walking speed.

Slightly irritated expression.

Occasionally stop and look toward the pipe rack.

Then say:

“Yeah, that’s not gonna work. Let me check something.”

At this point, nobody on the project will bother you.

In fact, there’s a legitimate possibility someone will ask you for help.

The Science of Looking Busy

The secret isn’t actually movement.

It’s purposeful-looking movement.

Walking around aimlessly attracts attention. Walking around aimlessly while carrying an isometric apparently makes you part of project controls.

Standing around is suspicious. Standing around while looking upward at piping is inspection.

Talking is socializing. Talking while pointing at steel is coordination.

Looking at your phone is wasting time. Looking at your phone while holding a tape measure is checking dimensions.

Industrial construction has somehow developed an entire visual language where the exact same activity can either look completely useless or critically important depending on what you’re holding.

Important Field Rule

Of course, there’s one major flaw with every technique in this article.

Eventually something actually has to get built.

Pipe has to fit. Welds have to pass. Equipment has to be set. Bolts have to be torqued. Systems have to be tested. Turnarounds have schedules, and pretending to work becomes considerably less effective when everyone is waiting on your spool.

So the safest technique remains the oldest one in the book:

Actually know your job and get your work done.

Then you can spend the last twenty minutes of the shift walking around with an isometric looking extremely concerned.

You’ve earned it.

NÆXON — Built for the people who know exactly which coworker this article is about.